Standards

I recently heard Mike Thomlin, coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers, being interviewed and he talked about standards. Standards he lives his life by, standards they have as a team, and then he said the sentence (after a game they lost) “It’s time now to stand up, be a man, and come back stronger.”

I’ve had distinct moments in my life where I thought I was standing in a tunnel hearing an echo (echo, echo) inside, as I listened to a sentence. “Am I? I can’t be. Why is it going off again and again like that?!” That sentence echoed for a minute as my brain ran frantic in a tenth of a second searching for a reference for women like this. “Have I ever heard a woman say something like this?!” I kept searching the filing cabinets in my mind as I listened to him talk, but couldn’t find one. I reached out to a friend who has her PhD in literature (a good, personal reference) and she couldn’t recall one either. “Is there a standard for women like this?” I wondered. The one saying that instantly came to my mind, and I’m sad my brain even thought of it, but the one reference I have heard came running to the forefront. The one that absolutely makes me cringe every time I hear it like nails on a chalk board, and made me realize that if one more woman tells me that they, or I, should “put my big girl panties on” I may just kick them in their big girl panties. Doesn’t it make you cringe? It does me. Like we are tiny little girls trying to act grown up and why does it begin with my panties? Look at the difference in those sentences though.

“Time to stand up and be a man.”

“Time to put my big girl panties on.”

What kind of standards are these?? The stand up and be a man I can easily envision what that means. I have total ideas in my head of what “stand up and be a man” means (nothing to do with hunting or fishing). But this sentence “put my big girl panties on?!” Why, does this sentence for ladies sound so completely pathetic to me? Big girl panties? Like, what does that even mean? Does that mean panties like my grandmothers underwear looked like? Or does that mean a pair of lace or satin, stringy and annoying to my bum panties, that leaves me chafed and raw and at the end of the day I’m like “I’m such a big girl!! Go me! #winning”

It’s these standards though, that we have heard and repeat, and do those sentences even really do enough?!

I read Merlin Olsens Mission Statement for his life one time. (Go ahead and read that sentence again. I did, a few times.) Have you ever seen it? It’s mind blowing the first time you read it, and then it just keeps getting better and better every time there after. This beautiful human being wrote himself a mission statement for his life. A standard that he was holding himself to for himself, his family, and the people he interacted with on a daily basis. Have you ever heard of such a beautiful thing?! Have you ever even thought to create such a thing?! I mean we have goals, but a mission statement?! Talk about a standard of living! Imagine writing one for yourself?! Setting those kinds of standards for yourself. What kind of mind is that, that does that?!

One I personally admire and may even be in awe of.

What if we were like that in our own lives, holding ourselves to a mission statement we created for ourselves. Having a foundation of standards as individuals, in our families and standards we hold for society. But, see, as we do this, we have to be careful, be mindful. You’ll (I’ll) start to judge other people and their standards, which may be wayyyyy different then our own. And, at that point, I think it’s important to remind yourself (myself) that everyone’s standards are different, and we may have to beat our standards into them until they get on board. No, no, no I’m joking. We have to give grace, remind ourselves it’s our standards we hold ourselves to and we try and lead by example.

If you’re lacking motivation, if you’re working to pay bills and can never get ahead, if you’re warn out by life a little, heartbroken, sleep walking on a hamster wheel through life, I’m certain you’re feeling tired of keeping standards in your heart. You’ve been hurt too many times and have to change your standards and may even feel the need to withdraw. I understand you’re just trying to get by each day. Heaviness inside has set in, and just the basic standards like brushing your teeth, taking a shower, changing your clothes, getting good rest and something nourishing to eat and a good dose of sunshine, those may be your standards for today and just do those things for yourself, just for today. And then, when you’re ready, sit down, think about life, who you want to be, what needs to happen to get there, and don’t just try and convince yourself to “put your big girl panties on” because that doesn’t mean shi*. Sit down, pour your heart out on paper and write your mission statement.

Set your standard.

Keep it close to your heart.

Have faith and go.

First Standard: If something blows out the back of your pickup truck how about using your truck to pick it up, that’s why you have a truck called a pickup truck. Pick that shi* up. This entire article came to life because of the amount of garbage I saw laying on the sides of the roads on my ride to work. I realize after hurricanes this can linger, but we haven’t had one in a while to blame it on. We can be better.

Side Note For Donna: Mom, I don’t think you read my blog but if you are reading this, you reference “putting on your big girl panties” quite often, but this piece had nothing to do with you or how often you’ve said it. I’ve just always cringed when I heard it, you just didn’t know. This being said, NOW is the time to put them on.♥️

According to Urban Dictionary: The origin of this saying “put on your big girl panties” is a sarcastic remark said to a person who seems to be acting childish and immature and wallowing in self pity. Can be said to either a male or female. Example: “Would you stop it, you’re driving me crazy. There’s nothing you can do so put on your big girl panties and deal with it.”

Personal Note: How about we (and when I say we, I mean grown adults) try not to walk around acting childish, immature and wallowing in self pity. However, if you want to just act childish and immature, I can do that with you, write me.