Customer Service

Stocked floor to ceiling, I stared at the wall directly in front of me as a small part of me began to feel overwhelmed. Glancing at the bin next to me marked 2/$25 and passing by an endcap of BOGO, I headed for the displays. Taking my time, I walked the aisle and began my test methods which are, I believe, universal methods involving pushing, poking, squeezing, and holding, just trying to get a quick overview. I picked up my first choice and did that thing that I think we all do, and attempted to lay it across my arms trying to steady it as I gently laid my head down to get an idea if this was the one for me.

I dreaded this day because my last pillow had been discontinued and how odd, I mean it’s been about 10 years. So, hmm, someone tell me, “Why exactly did I think they would still be making this specific style?” I questioned myself as I put my first choice back on the shelf and moved on. Passing by each one with my inner critic in toe, pencil in hand, internally crossing off the ones that didn’t make the cut “Too soft, no support, too hard, not enough fluff, too bouncy.” I continued down the aisle pushing, pressing, squishing, and holding, all the while glancing around, trying to find a place to lay down in the middle of Bed Bath and Beyond. But, here’s the thing, there is no real actual bed available to lay on at BED Bath and Beyond, which now felt actually odd to me. And, if there are no real beds available, how exactly are we able to really test these pillows out?! Where’s the ONE bed in the store we could actually lay on, similar to how we would at the mattress store, available in the pillow section, simply set up to try out a pillow. Has anyone figured this out for us? Maybe, perhaps a “Pillow Testing Station?”

Could that be a thing?

I want it to be a thing.

I had been here just two weeks earlier and was returning the pillow I had thought “was the one” but, I simply just could NOT get use to it. So, here I was walking the floor again staring into what felt like the abyss. I started to observe the other people around me. “How do they test their pillow? Omgosh, that guy?! That guy just picked up two, put them in his cart and kept on going! Who does this?!” My thoughts kept on, “This one is $149 but it doesn’t feel much different than this one for $49.99. Hmmm, does it matter how much a good pillow costs though?! Isn’t it about getting a good night sleep, with head and neck support, and aren’t I worth it?” I’ll get the $149 one it’s gotta’ be the best. But wait, what about these other ones, these have a better price point, but…” and on and on and on it went until I finally made my decision. A plush tempurpedic pillow kinda’ feeling, but the bonus to me, was the flip. When ya’ flip this pillow it’s built in cooling gel is designed to keep that pillow cool and, ahhhhh, we all love the cool side of the pillow, right?!

Totally content with this choice, I began to feel that familiar “I’m confident in my decision” feeling wash over me. That day dreamy feeling. That way-out into the future, dreamy kind of feeling of what it will actually feel like later when my head finally hits the pillow feeling.

Feel me?

But here, see, here’s where it starts to go a little wonkie…

Why did she have to say this to me?

Why do any of them have to ask us any questions at the very end?!

I’m sure they have been prompted and probably spend hours on customer service training but, see, when I get to the cashier and you start ringing me up, I’m excited at this point. I’m almost done but, then you’re training kicks in and you engage me with questions. Questions like say, oh, I don’t know, let’s just say something like “Do you need a pillow protector today?” And my instant reply is “No” because see, if I did, it would be on the counter with my pillow for you to ring up. So, I pass on your question saying “No” definitively at this time, because that’s the only decision that I’ve made in a split second in your store and I’ve been in here for 90 minutes already!”

Ok now, ok, so wait. I should tell you, at the time, I didn’t think ANY of that. I truly didn’t, I just answered her question “No, not today, thank you though.” It was a pretty solid answer I felt, as I tucked the receipt in my wallet and headed to the car feeling a little content thinking I’ve made the right choice, a better choice then I did two weeks earlier.

That night, putting the pillow case on and getting ready for my first real “test drive” I heard her question again. Just as I began to lean back, my head about to hit the pillow, I heard it out of no where….

“Do you need a pillow protector for this today?”

JUST as I had started to lay back and collapse into what I thought would be heaven, I could hear her words going through my head. Going through my head, disrupting my moment, because NOW I’m wondering “Why did she word it like that?! Who says a pillow protector? Isn’t it a pillow case? Oh man, wait, maybe they make pillow protectors like a mattress protector or something? Do I need one? Wait, what does a pillow protector do that a pillow case doesn’t? Wait, oh no, did she ask me if I wanted pillow protection? Like protection coverage? And if so like from what? Do I need that?” Craponacracker what did she ask me?!”

My brain completely kicked in full gear, when I SHOULD be unwinding, but am now pulled back to the store and out of my “Ahhh, this is going to feel amazing I’ll have the best night sleep in the case of history in all time of ever tonight I just know it!!” To now, “I can’t sleep because I am wondering about pillow protectors.”

I remember the days when I would get to the check outline and they would just say “How are you?!” Now it’s “Did you find everything ok?” Or “Have you tried this before?” Now commenting on my items. Or my favorite (she said with a smirk) “Would you like a bag?!” (Fun fact for you, if I didn’t bring a bag in with me, that’s a good indication I’ll need one for the ten items I’m leaving with) or maybe the basic “Do you need a pillow protector for that?” question.

And yes, I hear it, just for the record, I do. I do also remember a time when I, myself, personally, didn’t begin sentences with…

“I remember the days when….”

But, I can’t help feeling like customer service training has changed.

Lately, I feel like I’m seeing a loss of “customer service” and more of a “get the customer comfortable” commenting on my items, engaging if I’ve found everything I was looking for, and as lovely as I am and like to engage with people, there are times, well, I simply just cannot. I’ve given all of myself to my day, then I’ve come in and tried to make more decisions after said long day, and NOW, when I’m solid in my choices, you ask one more question? And unknowingly, to a girl like me?! A girl like me where a question like that could have been the thing that kept me up 1/2 the night because I recognize I struggle with “ruminating” and “OCD tendencies” and well, now, I’m tripped up?! I shouldn’t be, because I think I’m solid in my decision but I’m not, and am easily swayed or thrown into doubt and will ponder if I have made the right decision for way too long. Maybe by the time we get to the counter to check out we could have already been asked these questions throughout our shopping experience if you must. Or, have faith that I’ll find you and ask a question if I need help or can’t find something. Or hey, how about just going back to telling me what kind of day to have “Have a good day.” Or if you’ve ever lived in the south, “Have a blessed day” whatever comes naturally. But, I prefer no comments on my food, drink, or in this case pillow (unless of course you want to tell me it’s your top seller and never gets returned).

Or hey, maybe even BETTER yet, how about just say what ya’ really probably want to say which should be “Hey crazy lady, with the curly crazy hair, we’ve been watching you on our security cameras in the pillow section and want to make sure you get out of the store ok because you’ve been in here for an hour and a half in the pillow section and you must really need a nap with that new pillow and tiredass attitude you’re walking out with.”

The Verdict: I returned the pillow in less then a week, it was too hard.

Side Note: I am completely aware of how all this sounds (overwhelmed over pillow shopping? Too many choices? $$$$ for a pillow? “Oh such problems” she said dramatically, as the back of her hand rested on her forehead, throwing her head back a little) I know, I know there are way more important things in the world, but this made me laugh a lot when I was working on it thinking I can’t be the only one like this and hope you laughed a little with me too.